In honour of Mother’s Day approaching, I am feeling the urge to share a bit about my own recent journey in navigating motherhood.

There is absolutely nothing in this world I love more than being a mom. I truly feel that being Beau’s mom is exactly what I was born to be. Does that mean that motherhood has come without challenges? Absolutely not.

When Beau was born he had difficulty latching. Actually that is putting it mildly. Within the first week he was born we attended a couple of lactation appointments and saw a few different specialists. We tried a variety of different strategies with multiple different tools that unfortunately only seemed to bring frustration for both Beau and I. I was told that if he didn’t latch soon, it was likely that he never would. With the new rush of hormones going through my body this made me feel sad and if I’m being honest, a bit defeated. I am not saying that breastfeeding is for everyone, but for me it was something that I so desperately wanted to share with my son.

For seven weeks, I continued to do skin to skin contact with Beau, and worked with him on developing his latch. I pumped milk every three hours for those seven weeks which equates to 106 hours spent hooked to a pump. I wanted to ensure I could maintain my milk supply even if it meant he would continue to be fed from a bottle.

One evening, when Beau was 7 weeks old, against all odds, he decided he was ready. I took his lead and he successfully latched.

Fast forward another 17 weeks to now, Beau has successfully maintained his latch and my body has worked hard to help my sweet boy grow from the 8lb 12 oz newborn, to this amazing 24 lbs 5 and a half month old. Soon we will look to introduce some foods into Beau’s diet, and although that is exciting, I don’t want to dismiss or fail to celebrate the journey we went through to get to where we are.

As moms, I’m sure many of us are used to questions/suggestions around baby’s sleep/feedings. I hear the concerned responses when I say that Beau still wakes to nurse through the night. The truth is, yes some days I am tired, but feeling rested is not something I would trade for those through the night moments. Some of the most beautiful moments of motherhood have happened through the night. Having Beau look for me and become instantly soothed just by being in my arms, is not a feeling I ever want to forget. Together we have developed this bond, and I am proud of it. Something Beau has already taught me, is he will do something when HE is ready. I have already begun to witness how quickly time passes and how fast our babies grow, so I plan to hold onto and cherish every beautiful sleepless moment.

So, what’s the point in sharing all of this? Im hoping that if you’re still reading this, you think about how everyone’s journey into motherhood looks different and not all babies are the same. I think often only the *good* is shared but that’s not a clear glimpse into what motherhood is. If there are mommas out there that are feeling the not so positive emotions of postpartum including feeling discouraged/irritable/emotional/sad, please know that you are not alone. Jared can attest that I have felt every one of those emotions, and has lovingly encouraged me to do so.

I know there are others out there who are struggling with more than just the disappointment of a failed latch and my heart truly goes out to you. I think it’s important that whatever our circumstances may be, we have the opportunity to have our feelings validated. I appreciate and acknowledge how fortunate I am, but I also value the importance of being open and honest about all of my feelings.

I also think too often, we as moms find things to criticize rather than things to celebrate. It’s easy to get hung up on the “oh I should be doing this” or the “why is my baby doing/not doing this?”I have begun to appreciate the importance of giving myself grace and to go ahead and celebrate accomplishments, no matter how big or small they may seem. I have a happy, healthy baby who is thriving and my body has helped him to do that. AMAZING!

So, from this Momma to all the others out there, I think YOU are doing exactly what YOUR baby needs and my hope is that YOU can feel proud of that.

And to my Beau, words can not express how thankful I am to be your Mom. It brings me so much joy to know we are learning and growing together. I love you sweet boy xo♥️